For as long as I can remember, the prevailing belief has been to put up a wall between our work lives and our home lives to “protect” them from one another.
Employers don’t want stress from home to drag down employee performance
Families don’t want stress from work to negatively impact the household
Especially on #2, we’ve all heard it or said it. It goes something like this:
‼️ “Don’t bring it home with you!” ‼️
Now, wisdom is a real thing. It is not wise to walk into your home and dump your stress onto a friend or family member. It is also not wise to come into the office and swing by your coworker’s desk to gossip about your home life for 20 minutes.
That said, I believe phrases like “don’t bring it home” are quietly giving ground to the Devil as he strives to keep us from experiencing God.
Here why I’d like you to seriously rethink this phrase!
God desires for us to be known and loved
Several years ago I read a book titled, “Does God Care Who Wins?”. In an attempt to answer that core question, the book proposes a couple of follow on questions:
First, does God care about the things we care about?
Second, how does it impact our relationship if we DON’T believe God cares about what we care about?
When I read this, I realized that if I don’t think God cares about my passions (i.e. my work), then it feels like he doesn’t actually care about me. While intellectually I knew God loved me, if he wasn’t interested in my work, I felt like he wasn’t interested in me.
When we don’t tell our close friends and family about what happened at work and how much it is weighing on you (good or bad), I’d propose that we start to believe those around us don’t actually care about us.
Timothy Keller said this about how we experience our human relationships.
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.
To be known and not loved is our greatest fear.
But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.
What greater gift can we give to those we love but to help them experience God by fully knowing and truly loving them?? God made us in His image to work, so we can’t fully give this gift if we don’t know each others work and care deeply about it.
It’s Time to Bring it Home
To double down on Tim Keller quotes, let’s paint a picture for how God desires to see us partner together in this life. While Keller’s quote is about marriage, I believe this applies in some degree to all relationships between believers.
“Within this Christian vision for marriage, here's what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating, and to say, "I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, 'I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!'"
Who you are as a worker is a huge part of how God made you! And if we are going to partner with each other in the journey, that has to include our work.
So, if you are with me, here is a three step guide to try out “bringing it home” in the next week.
First, prep “your people”. Share this newsletter with them, or a couple of quotes from it, and explain that you want to share about your work, because you want them to know you more fully.
Second, prepare what you’d share. While you want to be real and authentic, I’d encourage you to do a little pre-work to care for the recipient well. Try to spend 15-minutes asking the Lord, what do you want me to share? How can I share it well so that my friend/family member knows me and also experiences you?
Last, create the right environment. This may feel new or awkward, especially if you’ve now hyped it up as something you’ve both prepared for. Try sitting outside or going for a walk.
I can’t wait to hear how this goes!
As always, please respond to this email if you’d like to chat and discuss anything from this or other posts! And if you have any friends who you think might derive value from exploring Wholehearted Work - I’d love for you to share it with them.
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With Heart,
Alex
